Expectations

In my Gender and Communication class, the other students and I are participating in something called service learning.  Along with meeting in class and discussing gender and communication, we are volunteering our time with an organization in the community.  The organization I chose to work with is called The Gathering Place.  This organization is a place where homeless women and their children can come for help.  Traditional shelters for people without homes open at night, for people to have a warm place to sleep.  One thing about traditional shelters is that they close down during the day.  The people staying at the shelter are asked to leave for the day and can come back at night.  This is where The Gathering Place comes in.  It offers women, and women who have children a place to go during the day when they are asked to leave a shelter. 

Not having a home, a place to relax, a place to keep your stuff, and a safe place for your kids to play or take a nap is very hard on a mother.  Every mom wants the best for their children, whether they are rich or poor.  The Gathering Place offers these things to women and their children who don’t have a home.  This wonderful place offers food, showers, bathtubs, laundry facilities, telephones, an address for mail to be sent to, and day care so mothers can know their children are in a safe place.  Along with all these things The Gathering Place offers hope and support for women who don’t have a home for their children.  It offers a place where women can bond with people who are there to help them make a better life.  This place helps women who have no one else to help them.

            One major expectation I have while volunteering at The Gathering Place, is that at times I may feel very emotional about the people there or that I am trying to help.  My younger brother and I were raised by a single mother.  My parents divorced when I was two and my mother moved to Wisconsin with my brother and me.  Growing up, our father did not support us at all and it was very hard financially and emotionally for my mother to raise to young boys by herself.  Luckily my grandmother, who played a very important part in my life, was living in Wisconsin.  My grandma helped support us financially while my mom went back to school.  She made sure we had all the things a mother wants for her children.  Without my grandma things would have been a lot rougher for us.  My mom may have not been able to go back to college since she wouldn’t have had anyone to take care of us.  My grandma was sort of like The Gathering Place for us.  Many people don’t have anyone to turn to for help.  This is why I expect to become emotional and sad for the mothers and children at The Gathering Place.  If it wasn’t for my wonderful grandma, my family may have been in their positions when I was growing up.  I feel very lucky to have had someone to help my mom, my brother, and myself out when my parents divorced and we moved to Wisconsin.   

            Our project at the gathering place is to find organization in the community such as the zoo, aquarium, the museum, and other places for mothers at The Gathering Place to take their children this summer.  The idea behind this is that The Gathering Place is only so big and can only handle a certain amount of families a day.  Once they have reached their limit they must turn people away.  We are trying to get these other organization to donate tickets, food vouchers, or whatever they can, so when The Gathering Place reaches it limit they will have a place to send mothers and their kids instead of just turning them away.  This brings me to my second expectation of volunteering at The Gathering Place.  

            I expect when trying to find places to donate tickets and others things, it will be challenging.  I have never done something like this before, but I think I can be good at it.  I think it will be challenging to get places to donate things because we have no money to offer them.  During these hard financial times, certain organizations may not want to give anything away for free.  This is where the challenge will come in, to convince the people that by donating they are doing a good thing for someone.  That they shouldn’t worry about the money they are not making and feel good about donating something to a family that can use it.

            A mother having fun with her children is one of the best ways to bond.  When a mom has to worry about where the next meal is going to come from, having a safe place for their kids, or having a place to sleep, they don’t have much time to bond with their children.  Also if we are able to get these mothers and children to places like the museum, aquarium, and zoo, they will have fun and neat experiences to talk about when they are at school.  Children who never have experiences to share at school may feel embarrassed or alienated.  Giving these children an opportunity to go to one of these places may help them bond with other kids at school.

            I am very excited about volunteering at The Gathering Place.  I think growing up with a single mom who was lucky enough to have a mother to take care of us had a huge impact on my life.  I feel so lucky to have had a loving mom and grandma who were able to give us a home, warm food, and new clothes and shoes.  I also see how my life could have been totally different if my grandma wasn’t there to help us.  This is why, even though I expect it to be difficult to find places to donate to The Gathering Place, I will try my hardest.  To help these single mother families who don’t have a home or someone to help them.  If at anytime I start feeling emotional I will channel those emotions in trying to do something good for this wonderful organization.       

Womens and Men Movements

There have been several womens and mens movements throughout the history of our culture.  Some of them involve very extreme ideas such as having societies with all female members and no men.  Others are not so extreme.  Since the United States of America formed, there have been three different waves of feminist movements.  With each wave of the feminist movement has come a backlash or antifeminist movement, to try and stop the effectiveness of the feminist. 

            The womens movement that I can identify with the most is the movement that is called ecofeminism.  According to Julia T. Woods author of our textbook Gendered Lives, ecofeminism started 1974, when Francoise d’ Eaubonne published Le oula Mort, which means Feminism or Death.  “This book provided the philosophical foundation for ecofeminism” (p. 79).  Ecofeminism focuses on oppression and “as long as oppression is culturally valued, it will be imposed on anyone and anything that cannot or does not resist” (p. 79). 

            The reason I can identify with ecofeminisim better than the rest of the womens movements is because this movement focuses on the oppression of everyone and everything on this planet.  Not just on how men have oppressed women for thousands of years, or that women would be better without men.  It focuses on everyone being oppressed such as women and men, children of both sexes, animals, and the environment.  “Ecofeminists seek to bring themselves and others to a new consciousness of humans’ interdependence with all other life forms” (p. 80).  This is something that I believe in. 

Yes I will admit that the female gender has been oppressed by men.  Even the arbitrary symbols of words that make up language used to communicate were mostly given meaning by men.  I feel if people, mainly feminists, stopped focusing only on how males have oppressed females and start focusing on how human beings as a race can stop oppression on everything, then we will start to see change.  I feel that many women’s movements do nothing but blame men, some such as the Separatism movement go to such extremes as to say that an all women society would be the only way for women to live without being oppressed by men.  I feel that movements like this are stereotyping themselves.  Ideas this extreme will always receive criticism and backlash.

 Now that I have learned about the ecofeminist movement I will do my best to make sure I do not oppress anyone or anything.  I agree with this movement and think that for oppression to stop on this planet it has to stop in all areas, towards all people, and towards all living things on planet Earth.

The mens movement that I can identify with the most is the Profeminist Men’s Movement.  Woods writes “Later generations of male feminists, including many men in their twenties today, attribute their feminism to parents and teachers who modeled egalitarian, nonsexist attitudes and practices” (p. 96).  The reason I included this quotation is that it describes me perfectly.  I am a male, in my twenties, who was raised by a feminist mother.  She never pushed feminism on me, but she taught my brother and I that all people are equal and should be treated with respect.

I think women and men should be treated equally by having the same rights and privileges.  They should be expected to do the same things to succeed in society.  Neither men nor women should have it easier because of their sex.  Reading the chapter about mens movements and especially the part about Profeminist Mens Movement made me realize that there are other people like me.  Who have been raised to believe that women and men deserve the same treatment and respect.  By Knowing this I now feel confident on sticking up for people when I see them being oppressed.  I will try to do this anytime, in any situation I see someone not being treated fairly. Especially if it is because of their sex. 

 

Language Shapes Awarness

The idea that language shapes awareness goes back to the idea that language is arbitrary.  Spoken words have no meaning tied to them, they only have meaning once society gives them meaning.  Language or spoken words are symbols that people use to communicate with each other.  This brings up the idea that symbolic thought is the foundation of human communication.  The reason I say this is because people use symbols such as words to communicate.   The words that are used have no meaning until people give them meaning.  Therefore, without symbolic thought it would be very hard, if not impossible for humans to communicate because symbols wouldn’t have any meaning.   People wouldn’t understand what people are trying to express because the symbols they are using would have no meaning to others. 

Since people live in different cultures all over the world, the meaning of the words used can vary from culture to culture.  If people or people within cultures shape the meaning of words or language that is used, than language people are using can shape awareness in a culture. 

This means that if there is something that goes on that has no name people may not be as aware of it.  Once something is given a name, and it has meaning, people will start being more aware of it.  An example of this from our text book is the term sexual harassment.  Before this term was given meaning, sexual harassment was not considered serious in the work place.  People would say someone was being pushy and usually nothing would happen.  Once the term sexual harassment was given meaning it became a much more serious issue.  This is how language can shape awareness and awareness of gender issues.  Until something is given meaning it is easy for people to overlook it. But once symbols such as words or language are attached  to something to give it  meaning, it starts to shape people’s awareness of an issue.

Describe and reflection

1. The earliest memory I can remember of talking with my parents about the expectations of my gender

    When I was two years old my parents became divorced.  My younger brother and I moved with my mother to Wisconsin where she was from and my father moved to Hawaii.  My mom raised the two of us with a lot of help from my grandmother. We didn't get to know our dad until we were older and almost out of high school.  This definitely had an impact on me and my brother growing up.  Don't get me wrong my brother and I have turned out great. My mom and grandma did everything they could and more to make sure we had everything we needed growing up.  The earliest interaction I can remember havening with my mom about the expectations of my gender was when I was real young, probably around five years old.  I remember my friend pulled a band aid of my leg and I started crying.  My friend started making fun of me for crying, I remember running inside and hiding in my room.  When my mom came in and asked me what was wrong I was embarrassed and didn't want to tell her about it.  I told my mom I didn't want to see her because I was crying and boys weren't supposed to cry.  That is when my awesome mom calmly explained to me that it is ok for boys and men to cry.  I remember her explaining to me if people don't cry, then all their feeling will build up inside and they will become toxic and sick.  I can also remember her explaining to me situations that the older men I knew who were my friends parents around the neighborhood would cry, if certain things happened to them.  My mom was very good at explaining how it was ok for us as boys to share are emotions if we were happy, sad, or mad.  It didn't matter if we were a boy or a girl, it was ok for people to see you be sad and cry.

2. The most recent communication I had with someone who communicated expectations of my gender

    This is somthing that happened to me the other day.  One of my friends girlfriends invited my girlfriend and I over for brunch this Sunday.  My girlfriend, not thinking that it was super bowl Sunday accepted.  I am a Packers fan, they happen to be playing in the super bowl this Sunday, and I am planning on being at my friend from Wisconsins house at his super bowl party.  When my girlfriend told me about the Sunday brunch plans, I knew I had to call and tell my friends girlfriend and tell her I couldnt make.  When I called to tell her why I couldn't come she responded by saying "Oh I forgot your a man, you have to watch the super bowl".  My comment back to her was "I don't have to watch the super bowl, I am choosing to, and that I know plenty of men that will not be watching the super bowl".  I felt like she was saying that an expectation of the male gender is that males like football and have to watch the super bowl.  This is simply not true, I no plenty of men who have no interest in football.  My girlfriends dad being one of them.